April 17th, 2024 - Revision history

Ha1vorsen at 06:14, 20 April 2024

2024-04-20T06:14:18Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:14, 20 April 2024
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	I'm sorry that I let myself be constantly taken advantage of. It was a mistake to assume there was any amount of decency left here.		I'm sorry that I let myself be constantly taken advantage of. It was a mistake to assume there was any amount of decency left here.


			I haven't gotten into any details on this page, but I'm living in Hell right now and am now actively interested in finding an escape from it.

Ha1vorsen at 06:12, 20 April 2024

2024-04-20T06:12:38Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:12, 20 April 2024
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	I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to be inherently grateful for.		I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to be inherently grateful for.

	The gift of losing memories?		The gift of losing the memories you've fought hard to protect?

	The elation of misophonia shaping how you navigate life?		The elation of misophonia shaping how you navigate life?
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	Being forced to interact with a society of people who are programmed to be selfish and serviced, while having no actual market value on their own?		Being forced to interact with a society of people who are programmed to be selfish and serviced, while having no actual market value on their own?

	How do you think it feels to be constantly taken advantage of and used by almost every individual person that is in your life? How the graciousness you extend to others has almost never been considered or returned in any capacity?		How do you think it feels to be constantly taken advantage of and used by almost every individual person that is in your life? How the graciousness you extend to others has almost never been considered or returned in any capacity?

			How do you think it feels to be cast aside, despite being there for others when they needed it?

	I can count on less than one hand how many times I have had a simple favour returned in the past two years.		I can count on less than one hand how many times I have had a simple favour returned in the past two years.

			Memories - they're why Halcove exists. Yet, at this point, they're being corrupted and damaged by new experiences that ruin how I look back on my old memories. The people who I thought were decent, the future I so strongly wanted to shape...

	Existing wouldn't be so bad if there were any person in my life that had a singular redeeming trait. But statistically, almost everyone I deal with on a daily basis are opportunistic assholes. I give my heart, money, and wellbeing away for being treated like a stranger in return. I have loaned people a non-negligible amount of money while I, myself, was struggling, and literally homeless. That was a year ago. I have not seen a cent of it back.		Existing wouldn't be so bad if there were any person in my life that had a singular redeeming trait. But statistically, almost everyone I deal with on a daily basis are opportunistic assholes. I give my heart, money, and wellbeing away for being treated like a stranger in return. I have loaned people a non-negligible amount of money while I, myself, was struggling, and literally homeless. That was a year ago. I have not seen a cent of it back.

Ha1vorsen at 06:06, 20 April 2024

2024-04-20T06:06:17Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:06, 20 April 2024
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			I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to be inherently grateful for.

			The gift of losing memories?

	If you~~'re alive and you're reading this, go fuck yourself.~~		The elation of misophonia shaping how you navigate life?

	~~I have nothing left in my heart but despair. And no matter how much you want~~ to ~~systemically place the blame on the person experiencing their despair~~, ~~you're entirely responsible for it.~~		A body that rejects most foods introduced to it, leading to a highly restrictive diet?

			An unending requirement to be surrounded by music just to maintain a decent mental baseline?

	~~I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to be inherently grateful for.~~		Experiencing constant daily tension between an opportunistic roommate?

	~~The gift of losing memories?~~		The joy of everyone you've been close to dying off, and knowing that nothing you do can prevent the deaths that are yet to occur?

	~~The constant daily tension between an opportunistic roommate?~~

	The joy of everyone you've been close to dying off?

	A job with increasing demands coupled with diminishing pay, that was lower than the local grocery store to begin with?		A job with increasing demands coupled with diminishing pay, that was lower than the local grocery store to begin with?
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	Being forced to interact with a society of people who are programmed to be selfish and serviced, while having no actual market value on their own?		Being forced to interact with a society of people who are programmed to be selfish and serviced, while having no actual market value on their own?

	How do you think it feels to be constantly taken advantage of and used by almost every individual person that is in your life? How the graciousness you extend to others has never been considered or returned in any capacity?		How do you think it feels to be constantly taken advantage of and used by almost every individual person that is in your life? How the graciousness you extend to others has almost never been considered or returned in any capacity?

	I can count on less than one hand how many times I have had a simple favour returned in the past two years.		I can count on less than one hand how many times I have had a simple favour returned in the past two years.

	Existing ~~here~~ wouldn't be so bad if there were any person in my life that had a singular redeeming trait. But statistically, almost everyone I deal with on a daily basis are opportunistic assholes. I give my heart, money, and wellbeing away for being treated like a stranger in return. I have loaned people a non-negligible amount of money while I, myself, was struggling, and literally homeless. That was a year ago. I have not seen a cent of it back.		Existing wouldn't be so bad if there were any person in my life that had a singular redeeming trait. But statistically, almost everyone I deal with on a daily basis are opportunistic assholes. I give my heart, money, and wellbeing away for being treated like a stranger in return. I have loaned people a non-negligible amount of money while I, myself, was struggling, and literally homeless. That was a year ago. I have not seen a cent of it back.

	At this point, I gave you all of me until there was nothing left.		At this point, I gave you all of me until there was nothing left.

	I have nothing left in my heart but despair. And no matter how much you want to systemically place the blame on the person experiencing their despair, you're entirely responsible for it.		I have nothing left in my heart but despair. And no matter how much you want to systemically place the blame on the person experiencing their despair, I can guarantee you that if you're reading, you are entirely responsible for my current state.

			Why do people still pretend to be aloof as to someone's certainty in their viewpoint that they hate humans and human interactions? Why do you blame the sufferer for their suffering, if their viewpoint is based solely on repeated negative experiences?

	Why do people still pretend to ~~be aloof as to~~ someone's ~~certainty in their viewpoint that they hate humans and human interactions? Why do you blame the sufferer for their suffering~~?		Why do people still pretend that that all issues that lead people to suicidal intentions are "temporary" issues, even if they are chronic issues that consume someone's lifespan?

	I'm sorry that I let myself be constantly taken advantage of. It was a mistake to assume there was any amount of decency left here.		I'm sorry that I let myself be constantly taken advantage of. It was a mistake to assume there was any amount of decency left here.

Ha1vorsen at 05:54, 20 April 2024

2024-04-20T05:54:21Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:54, 20 April 2024
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	I can count on less than one hand how many times I have had a simple favour returned in the past two years.		I can count on less than one hand how many times I have had a simple favour returned in the past two years.

	Existing here wouldn't be so bad if there were any person in my life that had a singular redeeming trait. But statistically, almost everyone I deal with on a daily basis are opportunistic assholes. I give my heart, money, and wellbeing away for being treated like a stranger in return. I have loaned people a non-negligible amount of money while I, myself, was struggling - literally homeless. That was a year ago. I have not seen a cent of it back.		Existing here wouldn't be so bad if there were any person in my life that had a singular redeeming trait. But statistically, almost everyone I deal with on a daily basis are opportunistic assholes. I give my heart, money, and wellbeing away for being treated like a stranger in return. I have loaned people a non-negligible amount of money while I, myself, was struggling, and literally homeless. That was a year ago. I have not seen a cent of it back.

	At this point, I gave you all of me until there was nothing left.		At this point, I gave you all of me until there was nothing left.
Line 30:		Line 30:

	Why do people still pretend to be aloof as to someone's certainty in their viewpoint that they hate humans and human interactions? Why do you blame the sufferer for their suffering?		Why do people still pretend to be aloof as to someone's certainty in their viewpoint that they hate humans and human interactions? Why do you blame the sufferer for their suffering?

			I'm sorry that I let myself be constantly taken advantage of. It was a mistake to assume there was any amount of decency left here.

Ha1vorsen at 05:50, 20 April 2024

2024-04-20T05:50:07Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:50, 20 April 2024
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	~~It's not a secret that Halcove was created expressly as a form of a "manual" backup of my memories, because there was a point where I valued my memories more than my own well-being.~~

	~~There was a point where I valued my memories more than I valued my existence. Over time, these memories~~

	~~To quote a video game: it's like my story is already over. I just have to remember it.~~

	~~Existing here wouldn~~'~~t be so bad if there were any person in my life that had a singular redeeming trait. But statistically~~, ~~almost everyone I deal with on a daily basis are opportunistic assholes~~. I ~~give~~ my heart, ~~money, and wellbeing away~~ for ~~being treated like a stranger in return~~. I ~~have loaned people a non-negligible amount~~ of ~~money while I, myself~~, was ~~struggling - literally homeless. That was a year ago. I have not seen~~ a ~~cent~~ of ~~it back.~~		If you're alive and you're reading this, go fuck yourself.

			I have nothing left in my heart but despair. And no matter how much you want to systemically place the blame on the person experiencing their despair, you're entirely responsible for it.


			I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to be inherently grateful for.

			The gift of losing memories?

			The constant daily tension between an opportunistic roommate?

			The joy of everyone you've been close to dying off?

			A job with increasing demands coupled with diminishing pay, that was lower than the local grocery store to begin with?

			Being forced to interact with a society of people who are programmed to be selfish and serviced, while having no actual market value on their own?

	How do you think it feels to be constantly taken advantage of and used by almost every individual person that is in your life? How the graciousness you extend to others has never been considered or returned in any capacity?		How do you think it feels to be constantly taken advantage of and used by almost every individual person that is in your life? How the graciousness you extend to others has never been considered or returned in any capacity?

	I can count on less than one hand how many times I have had a simple favour returned...		I can count on less than one hand how many times I have had a simple favour returned in the past two years.

	~~Why do people still pretend to~~ be ~~aloof as to someone's certainty~~ in ~~their viewpoint~~ that ~~they hate humans and human interactions? Because it's not possible that they~~ had a ~~negative experience~~ with ~~every person they~~ have ~~interacted with~~, ~~right?~~		Existing here wouldn't be so bad if there were any person in my life that had a singular redeeming trait. But statistically, almost everyone I deal with on a daily basis are opportunistic assholes. I give my heart, money, and wellbeing away for being treated like a stranger in return. I have loaned people a non-negligible amount of money while I, myself, was struggling - literally homeless. That was a year ago. I have not seen a cent of it back.

			At this point, I gave you all of me until there was nothing left.

	I ~~gave you all of me until there was~~ nothing left.		I have nothing left in my heart but despair. And no matter how much you want to systemically place the blame on the person experiencing their despair, you're entirely responsible for it.

	If you~~'re alive and~~ you're ~~reading this, go fuck yourself~~.

	~~I have nothing left~~ in ~~my heart but despair. And no matter how you want to deny it,~~ you~~'re entirely responsible~~ for ~~it.~~		Why do people still pretend to be aloof as to someone's certainty in their viewpoint that they hate humans and human interactions? Why do you blame the sufferer for their suffering?

Ha1vorsen at 23:39, 19 April 2024

2024-04-19T23:39:49Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:39, 19 April 2024
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	I'~~ve always said~~ that a ~~friend is someone you can confide in~~, ~~someone who you can rely on to understand your scenario in your~~ own ~~context~~.		It's not a secret that Halcove was created expressly as a form of a "manual" backup of my memories, because there was a point where I valued my memories more than my own well-being.

	~~Meanwhile,~~ I ~~can't even be a friend to myself~~. ~~I already forget half of the events that happen to me~~, ~~but that doesn't mean they don't affect me.~~		There was a point where I valued my memories more than I valued my existence. Over time, these memories

	To quote a video game: it's like my story is already over. I just have to remember it.		To quote a video game: it's like my story is already over. I just have to remember it.
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	I gave you all of me until there was nothing left.		I gave you all of me until there was nothing left.

	Go fuck yourself.		If you're alive and you're reading this, go fuck yourself.

	I have nothing left in my heart but despair. And no matter how you want to deny it, you're entirely responsible for it.		I have nothing left in my heart but despair. And no matter how you want to deny it, you're entirely responsible for it.

Ha1vorsen: Created page with "I've always said that a friend is someone you can confide in, someone who you can rely on to understand your scenario in your own context. Meanwhile, I can't even be a friend to myself. I already forget half of the events that happen to me, but that doesn't mean they don't affect me. To quote a video game: it's like my story is already over. I just have to remember it. Existing here wouldn't be so bad if there were any person in my life that had a singular redeeming..."

2024-04-19T06:27:14Z

Created page with "I've always said that a friend is someone you can confide in, someone who you can rely on to understand your scenario in your own context. Meanwhile, I can't even be a friend to myself. I already forget half of the events that happen to me, but that doesn't mean they don't affect me. To quote a video game: it's like my story is already over. I just have to remember it. Existing here wouldn't be so bad if there were any person in my life that had a singular redeeming..."

New page

I've always said that a friend is someone you can confide in, someone who you can rely on to understand your scenario in your own context.

Meanwhile, I can't even be a friend to myself. I already forget half of the events that happen to me, but that doesn't mean they don't affect me.

To quote a video game: it's like my story is already over. I just have to remember it.

Existing here wouldn't be so bad if there were any person in my life that had a singular redeeming trait. But statistically, almost everyone I deal with on a daily basis are opportunistic assholes. I give my heart, money, and wellbeing away for being treated like a stranger in return. I have loaned people a non-negligible amount of money while I, myself, was struggling - literally homeless. That was a year ago. I have not seen a cent of it back.

How do you think it feels to be constantly taken advantage of and used by almost every individual person that is in your life? How the graciousness you extend to others has never been considered or returned in any capacity?

I can count on less than one hand how many times I have had a simple favour returned...

Why do people still pretend to be aloof as to someone's certainty in their viewpoint that they hate humans and human interactions? Because it's not possible that they had a negative experience with every person they have interacted with, right?

I gave you all of me until there was nothing left.

Go fuck yourself.

I have nothing left in my heart but despair. And no matter how you want to deny it, you're entirely responsible for it.