Halcove:About

Welcome to Halcove! If you're looking for chat, assistance, queries, or something else, this is where you can find me.

If you do need me, I am always up for sharing information and having discussions in good faith. However, you may find it easier than normal to trigger responses that may confuse you following your [likely unwelcome in this circumstance] contribution to the discussion. This page exists to explain the factors that go into my actions. Please also click the subheadings under each new line for further information, when applicable.

Yes, this is a manual for how you should approach me. No, I am not memeing. Yes, I will point you back here if you act surprised after triggering one of the scenarios detailed here. No, I am less of an asshole than this page will make it appear. This page really exists as "asshole-repellant", preventing issues before they occur. You should be able to see that all I ask in each of these sections is for equity and respect during the interactions we might have.

If you're looking for help...

Limit pointless filler.

Time is valuable. Please don't be disrespectful by wasting it. You can be polite by including your greeting and other fluff in the same message as your actual query.

If you include substantial filler in your message, it can come across as desperate, overly friendly, overly excited, etc., and result in an expedited exit from the discussion.

Don't "ask to ask".

Asking to ask is already asking a question. If you think asking a question is bothersome, why are you doing it twice? You don't need permission to ask questions unless it's on a sensitive topic. Eliminating this pointless fluff of "politeness" allows the question to be answered as soon as it's read, instead of making someone potentially prepare for an entire conversation that they may not be ready for. Being realistic - if we aren't friends, you're engaging in a transactional conversation. The only reason you're talking to me is to extract information from me. We're probably never going to talk again after the interaction. Allowing people to efficiently interpret your question allows for them to efficiently answer them.

If you "ask to ask", I'm going to respond at whichever time is most convenient to me - as the question you asked, on its own, is very low priority. I may even forget that you asked me and end up ignoring your query.

Instead of "Are you busy?", ask "How do I do this task?".

Ask about your problem, not your solution.

This is otherwise known as "the X/Y problem". Say you want to change the Facebook app theme color. You then read online, "sending this special command to your phone via your PC can force the Facebook theme to change to dark". So instead of asking how to change Facebook's theme, what you ask me is "How can I enable developer settings and send PC commands to my phone?". Instead of addressing the issue you wanted, you're trying to get help with something that isn't actually relevant to anything. I could have told you to simply click a button in the Facebook app itself to achieve the same goal. Less time is wasted for both parties if you ask for what you actually want.

If you engage in this behaviour, I'm likely to ask you upfront what your actual solution is. If I engage with your question, I'm not very likely to stay engaged once I find out I was helping you with something you never actually wanted to do, since there's now an entire secret boss to the assistance you asked for.

Instead of "How do I use Android's developer options", ask "How do I change Facebook to its dark theme?".

If you're looking to chat..

Avoid assumptions

Assumptions have the funny effect of loudly showcasing your subconscious conclusions. In that, things you may have never asked about may be incorrectly "true" or "false" in your personal headcanon. Your subconscious is highly influenced by internal biases. In making an assumption, instead of asking for clarification, it can be highly insulting as you are taking certain aspects of a person as a given.

If you engage in this behaviour, I'm likely to reflect it. I do hold many internal biases, but I try to actively contain them. If I notice that you either failed to contain yours, or otherwise felt that your assumption is "such an obvious conclusion from the information you had", I will reflect this behaviour and intentionally fail to contain my own biases. If it wasn't an issue for you to do so, it shouldn't be an issue for me to do so as well. I will also track this failure to properly research / ascertain information, so I may lose trust in what you say and lower credence to your statements.

Instead of "North likes to study electronics, they would never be interested in music", literally just either ask, or say you don't know.

"Read the room"

I would personally love if you would match the demeanor I am showing you. You're told from a young age to treat people the way you want to be treated. If I am being direct, transactional, sarcastic, friendly, or anything else: I intend to get the same out of you. Please either try to match my demeanor, and otherwise let me know if my behaviour makes you uncomfortable or just seems out of place. In many cases, I'm also trying to match whatever demeanor you brought to the table.

For example, if I am being snippy, it is always intentional. My general intensity and demeanor can also change drastically within a picosecond, which is why I often don't recognise myself as having a conscience. If I'm being snippy in the rare circumstance where my behaviour isn't based on reason or fact, and is otherwise unjustified, I will easily tone it back and apologise immediately. Otherwise, I will tell you which of your actions justify my behaviour. In the latter case, I will not cease with my tone and manner of speech. If you no longer want to engage in a discussion while I'm in this state, it is highly recommended to exit the conversation, or resolve the catalyst.

Conflict Resolution

Have you ever felt like you needed to carefully navigate how you interact with me in order to avoid backlash? I know. If you often try to dictate discussion, you'll run into issues. If you do want to talk to me, remember to think about what you say before you say it. Microaggressions and negative assumptions towards me will be remembered and met with equal flippancy.

Otherwise, I actively take care not to show disrespect towards you as long as I was not given disrespect to begin with.

If you know how to decent without needing to be prompted, we will get along. If you can't, then I don't have an issue reminding you to correct yourself before engaging in any further interactions. I don't believe in "special treatment" and will treat everyone with the same amount of praise or criticism that they deserve. If you act like a child, you'll be treated like one. If I have to treat you like a child despite your age dwarfing mine, or if you happen to be in some sort of "authoritative" position...

Well, it was obviously a shoddy position that means nothing since you hold it. Do better.

It is on you to be a decent person. I promise that I will take your lead. I will be direct in most situations, and I would appreciate your directness and truthfulness above all other qualities, namely in terms of "niceties" which I see as wasted energy. Actions speak louder than gestures.

If you show respect, there is no reason for me to be disrespectful to you. That is to say, I won't pretend to extend any angelic grace towards you just because you're in a "bad mood", which isn't an excuse to be a jerk.

With that said, I generally don't partake in niceties, but this isn't inherently disrespectful. For example, "It isn't, I'm sorry." is probably going to be truncated to "No, it isn't.". It answers the conditional question succinctly, and is rather frank communication, which helps cut out potential for misinterpretation.

I do not respond to emotional pleas as a form of persuasion. If you want me to take an action that I have already explicitly declined, you'll need to present a form of logical justification for it rather than beg or "guilt trip". If you actively demand me to go out of my way to help you when you've never given me the time of day or have ignored times where I've asked for similar help, search on Google for the nearest circus -- there are plenty of clowns who will take you in as one of their own.

Other

I care for your actions, which you are personally responsible for. I expressly shed no concern about your societal status, your employment position, or any shoddy sense of authority that you may employ on yourself.

For maximum social equity, you will be treated with an identical timber as the one you approach me with.

Look at me as a mirror; if you don't like what you see, take a look at yourself first.

For example, aggressive dispositions will be met with an equally aggressive tone in response. I will be equally as pleasant as you are, otherwise.

In general, the following should also be kept in mind when interacting with me

• Any statement of material fact is subject to debate. A premature dismissal of debate or discussion without any attempt to engage in discussion will result in complete dismissal of any further claims. Statements of immaterial fact or vague guidance is also subject to interpretation, which is subject to debate by proxy.
• Critiques, criticism, and arguments must be based on verifiable fact. Discussions not based upon observable or verifiable evidence will be immediately discarded with this due notice, if it is not predicated as an opinion.
• Critiques, criticism, must be based on locally observed evidence, and must be backed by verifiable fact. Critique and criticism based upon assumptions or prospect do not have a concrete basis in reality, and may not be used for criticism for an action that has, or hasn't, occurred in reality. Only empirical and factual evidence may be used for this purpose.
• Critiques, criticism, and arguments based on false premise will immediately be discarded without prior warning. As these issues address concerns that are inherently unrelated to me, your judgement will not be granted on them.