Gender

Oh boy.

Definition of gender

I will preface this by saying that I don't agree with the need of a gender, or putting people into categorised boxes based on self-asserted boxes. This is one primary reason I consider myself without a gender, seeing as a human's sex factors in a limited number of times in my social interactions. Gender was derived from observations and segregations of physical sexual assignments, namely male or female sexes. Sex, gender, and sexual orientation are all wholly separate aspects of a person. Of course, despite this, there are fundamental differences in both sexes on a macro level. The male gender is associated with aggression, physical strength, and leadership roles due to biological and hormonal catalysts for this behavior existing in the corresponding sex. Historically, this led to males being objectively better equipped fits for related roles, and over time, these competencies became stronger as they continued to be utilised. A natural example of evolution. A female in marriage traditionally takes the male’s last name, but not the other way around. Unlike wed males, who stay as a mister, a female in marriage becomes a mistress (Mrs.) from former status of “miss”, implying that their value or status changes depending on if they have a token husband or not. There are entire languages which are founded on gendered grammar, where nouns are gendered based on a degree of masculinity or femininity of that noun. But… I must ask the Spanish language how a computer (computadora) is feminine.

The emphasis on gender is a construct based upon the physical characteristics of each sex. There was nothing wrong with this for a time, as it was necessary to keep the human race moving along. However, the foundation of this construct is starting to lose relevance as society progresses and as all sexes perform more and more tasks at equally competent levels. In other words, gender is an increasingly dated classification system largely based on the nature of being of the male or female sex. Those expectations and roles are becoming increasingly outdated in this current society. Gender itself is nearing obsolescence. Many of the gender roles that are currently being observed, only continue to do so, due to people feeling as if they need to conform to them as per formality, or what’s expected of them – an inherently societal issue. The influence of biological factors favoring certain sexes over others still exists, albeit, to a lesser degree than it has been historically.

In my opinion, many of these problems could be averted if society moves towards a gender-neutral makeup, instead of inventing new genders (aka prejudicial boxes) for simple personality traits. While not fully eliminated, dysphoria could be lessened from the result of a lesser impact on gender in day-to-day life. People wouldn’t feel out of place due to these baseless and semi-arbitrary assumptions about one’s character. Even the term “feminist” is terrible, as it implies a catering more towards females and less towards humanity itself, despite the actual goal of the movement. You don’t demand equality for two different subjects while going out of your way to highlight that there is a difference between those subjects. You stop highlighting the differences if you want to bring attention away from them, or acknowledge them on an equal field.

Unless you are tasked with identifying a person or doing anything medical related, refer to a person as “man”, not “[insert race here] man”. As an example, would it not be patronising and counterintuitive to praise someone for a mundane achievement just on the basis of the color of their skin?

• “Oh, that’s impressive… for a [insert race here] guy.”
• “We are so proud that we have had 50 [insert race here] graduates this year!”

What does that achieve? Calling attention to facts like these undermines the concept of “equality”; it is implying that the achievement is exemplary, compared to the rest of the race. The work that people have put in is cast to the side and the fact that they are part of a specific group is now what becomes showcased. As someone who has dark skin and isn't cis nor heterosexual, I strongly have an issue with how we have this set up.

Personal gender

Let's just get it out of the way. I'm non-binary, specifically agender. While I generally don't feel the need to pick "a side" when it comes to gender expression or formalities, I tend to end up expressing myself as male due to both being of the male sex, and due to things like clothing intended for males ending up being more practical.

Pronouns

Generally speaking, I don't mind any pronouns a person uses to refer to me, as long as they're not derogatory in intent, and it is clear in the context of the discussion that they are referring to me. So, for example, not switching between he and she in the same sentence. If it's difficult, just use my name, North.

I generally prefer to be introduced to people as they/them for first-impression's sake, so people don't necessarily make certain assumptions based on their interpretation of me as male or female, but pronouns are otherwise inconsequential, especially if the person has got to know me and my character over time.