Gender

Oh boy. There is much that can be potentially be misinterpreted. If you have any questions, or if I have make a debatable claim, please feel free to use the sidebar to contact me about it.

Definition of gender

I will preface this by saying that I don't agree with the need of a gender, or putting people into categorised boxes based on self-asserted characteristics. I will also say that I don't generally factor in a person's gender when determining their potential demeanor or personality, as a person of any gender can have any sort of personality or viewpoints. When someone tells me that they are a boy, or a girl, or otherwise, whether they are cisgender or transgender, that fact generally goes in the ear and out the other. If I were to make blind assumptions on character or anything else based on someone's gender, I would be fueling dysphoria for someone else. If I were to assume "all women" had a stereotypical trait, but it turns out that any specific cis woman didn't, wouldn't that be counter-intuitive to assume that there's something "wrong" with that woman? In my opinion, many of these problems could be averted if society moves towards a gender-neutral makeup. While not fully eliminated, dysphoria could be lessened from the result of a lesser impact on gender in day-to-day life. People wouldn’t feel out of place due to these often-incorrect assumptions about one’s character.

This is one primary reason I consider myself without a gender, seeing as a human's sex is a limited factor and largely irrelevant in my social interactions. Gender was derived from observations and segregations of physical sexual assignments, namely male or female sexes. Sex, gender, and sexual orientation are all wholly separate aspects of a person. A biologically male person could be a woman and attracted to women. A biologically female person could be a man and attracted to women. While gender and orientation affect each other, they have little to directly do with each other. See: reframing orientation

Of course, despite this, there are certain fundamental differences in both sexes, both physically and hormonal. The male gender is associated with aggression, physical strength, and leadership roles due to biological and hormonal catalysts for this behavior naturally existing in the corresponding sex. Historically, this led to males being objectively better equipped fits for related roles, and over time, these competencies became stronger as they continued to be utilised. A natural example of evolution.

An example of accepted sexism would be how a female in marriage traditionally takes the male’s last name, but not the other way around. Unlike wed males, who stay as a mister, a female in marriage becomes a mistress (Mrs.) from former status of “miss”, implying that their value or status changes depending on if they have a token husband or not. There are entire languages which are founded on gendered grammar, where nouns are gendered based on a degree of masculinity or femininity of that noun. And a lot of this ends up being self-contradictory or self-limiting.

As it stands, the emphasis on gender is a group of socially generated presumptions, based upon the physical and hormonal characteristics of each sex. There was nothing wrong with this for a time, as it was necessary to keep the human race moving along. However, the foundation of this construct is starting to lose relevance as society progresses and as each sex perform more and more tasks at equally competent levels. In other words, gender is becoming an increasingly dated classification system largely based on the nature of being of any specific sex. Indeed, those expectations and roles are becoming increasingly outdated in this current society. Many of the gender roles that are currently being observed, only continue to do so, due to people feeling as if they need to conform to them as per formality, or what’s expected of them – an inherently societal issue. The influence of biological factors favoring certain sexes over others in certain tasks still undeniably exists, albeit, to a lesser degree than it has been historically.

The term “feminist” is really terrible, as it implies a catering more towards females and less towards equality for humanity itself, despite the actual goal of the movement. You don’t demand equality for two different subjects while going out of your way to highlight that there is a difference between those subjects. You stop highlighting the differences if you want to bring attention away from them, or acknowledge them on an equal field.

As an example, unless you are tasked with identifying a person or doing anything medical related, refer to a person as “man”, not “[insert race here] man”. As another example, would it not be patronising and counterintuitive to praise someone for a mundane achievement just on the basis of the color of their skin?

• “Oh, that’s impressive… for a [insert race here] guy.”
• “We are so proud that we have had 50 [insert race here] graduates this year!”

What does that achieve? Calling attention to things like this undermines the concept of “equality”; it is implying that the achievement is exemplary, compared to the rest of the race. That is inherently racist to assume that other people of that race are incapable or otherwise unable.

The work that individuals do ends up being cast to the side and the fact that they are part of a specific group is now what becomes showcased. As someone who has dark skin and isn't cis nor heterosexual, I strongly have an issue with how we have this set up. A small part may also stem from a strong belief in individualism.

Personal "gender"

Genuinely, I don't care enough to think about what gender I may or may not be at any given time, when considering the historical use of and definition of "gender".

As such, I'd like to be evaluated and responded to as a human foremost, instead of being subject to a person's ever-inconsistent interpretation of how masculine or feminine I am. This generally falls into a non-binary categorisation.

While I generally don't feel the need to pick "a side" when it comes to gender expression or formalities, I tend to end up expressing myself as male due to both being genetically of the male sex, and also because gear and clothing intended for males tend to be more practical and durable. Think things like pockets in clothing, and materials being function over form.

Pronouns

At one point, I didn't mind whatever pronouns a person used. I really hated them all in reality, so there wasn't really any specific hatred for one over the other.

However, pronouns are the entrypoint of having people direct gender stereotypes towards a person. The more comfortable a person gets to using "he" or "she", the more comfortable they got associating me with gendered traits, which is genuinely bothersome. So please, I only go by they/them and other neutral descriptors. Please keep that in mind.

I generally prefer to be introduced with my middle name, North, as well.