Difference between revisions of "Music"

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I swear that nothing makes me feel as hopeless and depressive than the closing of ''[[Beautiful World|Beautiful World (Da Capo Version)]].''
I don't think I've ever been able to describe my music taste to others. I think that, while not necessarily sophisticated, it is complicated and nuanced. But a good way to sum it up would be to say that I have contrarian tastes, as well as being an enjoyer of high-energy themes with focus on melodic phrases that can seem to tell a story solely by instrumentals.


It's a remake of a song of the same name created for a show named Neon Genesis: Evangelion. This Da Capo version was created as a complimentary of ''[[One Last Kiss]].'' They were both created for the anime series I mentioned, but the thing is that I've never watched Evangelion, and generally don't like anime at all. The songs here just carry strong emotional implications that I can't let go of.
By contrarian, I simply mean that I don't ever turn on the radio and have never made an account on Spotify, SoundCloud, YouTube Music, or any mainstream music streaming site.


Throughout the song, Utada gives examples of the tantalizing examples of emotional closeness that she wants to share with the subject of the song. It creates a mental oasis of an idealised relationship between this close partner, much like ''[[Passion (Sanctuary)|Sanctuary]] / [[Passion (Sanctuary)|Passion]]''. But even if you didn't know this, I'd wager that you'd be able to ''feel'' it in in the vocals and tone of the song.
By quantity, most of my music are indeed instrumentals, mostly from Nintendo video games. But in terms of frequency, I listen to specific artists such as Hikaru Utada most often, in where she discusses societal conflicts as well as internal struggles, opening herself up to vulnerability and self-interpretation.  


For example, as seen in the ending of [https://youtu.be/Z2xntyeOcDg?t=209 this clip of ''Passion''], Utada can be shown carrying songs solely with their voice, being the prominent or the only instrument conducting the song. During the ending of ''Beautiful World'', she uses this same method to convey her ''passion'' for what she's singing about. Though, in Beautiful World, this example happens much more unexpectedly. Shortly after the opening, the listener is conditioned to expect an "answer" for the background phrases "beautiful world" and "beautiful boy". These "answers" are where these emotional pleadings are located, bluntly romanticising the idea of her and her partner ideally being the only two people in their own world. However, in closing, these phrases go unanswered, almost implying that she has given up on expressing these desires. And her voice, while previously appearing prominent throughout the song, weakens and eventually disappears while self-validating her emotions by repeating "it's only love". She repeats this, gradually fading, being overtaken by an single instrumental solo until the very end.  
In fact, Hikaru Utada's BAD MODE album has been the top ten tracks on my playlist with thousands of listens. Their lyrically downcast tone paired with themes of momentum keep me addicted to each track. It's reassuring and refreshing to see how someone else interprets the daily motions of their personal and social lives. I've created a few writings about the songs in the album; they are listed here, even if they're not all written yet.  


During the song, Utada is only expressing their unwavering desire to embrace their partner. But there is never a progression of this relationship. These desires end up never being fulfilled during ''Beautiful World.'' It ends with that desire remaining a mere yearn. Being silenced, as if everything you've heard up until the end was all for nothing. The passion for the future and precedent that was envisioned - slowly to realise that it has remained silenced, and only a dream. It's exactly what I experience as the vocals cut out, leaving only the instrumentation continuing the vocal melody. It's just like how the world continues to rotate and time moves forward, no matter how life-stopping any event in your life seems to be.
# [[BAD MODE (Track)|BAD モード]]
# [[Kimi ni Muchuu|君に夢中]]
# [[One Last Kiss]]
# [[PINK BLOOD]]
# [[Time (Hikaru Utada)|Time]]
# [[気分じゃないの (Not In The Mood)]]
# [[誰にも言わない]]
# [[Find Love]]
# [[Face My Fears]]
# [[Somewhere Near Marseilles]]
# [[Beautiful World]]
# キレイな人 ([[Find Love]])
There's also music from other singers and games that will each get their own individual pages soon. For now, here are a few, in no particular order.


Of course, from what I think I know about Evangelion, I don't believe this is the actual intention, and the song is meant to convey the exact opposite of the undertones than what I presented here. But either way, almost any song I listen to tends to have to have these mental headcanons that have these emotional effects on me, and I also often listen to them in order to supplement a specific emotion or train of thought. Feeling helpless? ''Beautiful World''. Feeling appreciated, or somewhat inspired at a new beginning? ''One Last Kiss''. When I feel like a unhelpful bystander while someone is going through a rough period? ''[[BAD MODE (Track)|BAD モード (BAD Mode)]]''.
* [[Gold -Mata Au Hi Made-]]
*[[Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS and Wii U|Battlefield (Super Smash Bros. for)]]
*[[Chikai (誓い)|誓い]]
* [[Don't Think Twice (Hikaru Utada)|Don't Think Twice]]
* [[Sanctuary (Hikaru Utada)|Sanctuary]]
* [[Passion (Hikaru Utada)|Passion]]
* [[Asylum]]
* [[Simple and Clean]]
* [[Mysterious Destiny]]
* [[Tomorrow is Mine]]
* [[Al Fine]]
* [[GH()ST]]
* [[My Time]]
* [[Beneath the Mask]]
* [[Last Surprise]]
* [[Life Will Change]]
* [[Rivers in the Desert]]
* [[Wake Up, Get Up, Get Out There]]
* [[Live & Learn]]
* [[Reach for the Stars]]
* [[Sonic Heroes]]
* [[Fist Bump]]
* [[Infinite]]
* [[Connected (Yours Forever)]]
* [[Lost in Thoughts All Alone]]
* [[一人思う]]
* [[Scorching Back]]
* [[Running Hell]]
* [[2017 Promotional Trailer (Breath of the Wild)]]
* [[Main Theme (Breath of the Wild)]]
* [[Menu (Super Smash Bros. for)]]
* [[Main Theme (Unnamed Smash Mod)]]
* [[Battlefield (Unnamed Smash Mod)]]
* [[Final Destination (Unnamed Smash Mod)]]


A similar song to Beautiful World is Chess Galea's production of ''[[Al Fine|Al Fïné]]'', used as the main theme in the video game ''Bayonetta 3.''
I've become attached to certain tracks and often can't function outside of my house without singing them, listening to them, or at the very least ''mentally'' listening to them. During 2018-2019, and also due to misophonia, I've had to make a specific case to my managers to allow me to wear my earbuds during work to keep my mental state in check. I've since learned to operate by listening to the music mentally, but this is the point we're at now.


These songs often make me feel helpless. Am I sad ''for'' them? I don't know if it's underlining my own documented issues with loss. This interpretation isn't necessarily related to the lyrics either. Why does music have this effect on me? I've become attached to certain tracks and often can't function outside of my house without singing them, listening to them, or at the very least ''mentally'' listening to them. During 2018-2019, and also due to misophonia, I've had to make a specific case to my managers to allow me to wear my earbuds during work to keep my mental state in check. I've since learned to operate by listening to the music mentally, but this is the point we're at now.
There's times I have to avoid songs strictly because I want to maintain a neutral emotional state. As an example, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACon4txJiDA DUET] has narrative significance within the game it hails from. I have a difficult time passively listening to the song without being emotionally affected, due to various factors that aren't limited to the narrative, but real-life extrapolations stemming from it. The title theme [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W766EABGHe8 OMORI] has a more severe effect. I've recently had to physically remove myself from a room because I couldn't handle the narrative significance of inadvertently hearing a certain type of ringtone coming from another person's device. Why? You'll have to ask me about that in person.


There's times I have to avoid songs strictly because I want to maintain a neutral emotional state. As an example, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACon4txJiDA DUET] has narrative significance within the game it hails from. I have a difficult time passively listening to the song without being emotionally affected, due to various factors that aren't limited to the narrative, but real-life extrapolations stemming from it. The title theme [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W766EABGHe8 OMORI] has a more severe effect. I've recently had to physically remove myself from a room because I couldn't handle the narrative significance of a certain type of ring tone coming from another person's device.
It really doesn't make any sense. I recognise it as an issue if it's affecting my day-to-day functionality and emotions. I don't actually like this attachment I have to audio.
 
It really doesn't make any sense. I recognise it as an issue if it's affecting my day-to-day functionality and emotions. I don't like this attachment I have to audio.

Latest revision as of 21:40, 14 October 2024

I don't think I've ever been able to describe my music taste to others. I think that, while not necessarily sophisticated, it is complicated and nuanced. But a good way to sum it up would be to say that I have contrarian tastes, as well as being an enjoyer of high-energy themes with focus on melodic phrases that can seem to tell a story solely by instrumentals.

By contrarian, I simply mean that I don't ever turn on the radio and have never made an account on Spotify, SoundCloud, YouTube Music, or any mainstream music streaming site.

By quantity, most of my music are indeed instrumentals, mostly from Nintendo video games. But in terms of frequency, I listen to specific artists such as Hikaru Utada most often, in where she discusses societal conflicts as well as internal struggles, opening herself up to vulnerability and self-interpretation.

In fact, Hikaru Utada's BAD MODE album has been the top ten tracks on my playlist with thousands of listens. Their lyrically downcast tone paired with themes of momentum keep me addicted to each track. It's reassuring and refreshing to see how someone else interprets the daily motions of their personal and social lives. I've created a few writings about the songs in the album; they are listed here, even if they're not all written yet.

  1. BAD モード
  2. 君に夢中
  3. One Last Kiss
  4. PINK BLOOD
  5. Time
  6. 気分じゃないの (Not In The Mood)
  7. 誰にも言わない
  8. Find Love
  9. Face My Fears
  10. Somewhere Near Marseilles
  11. Beautiful World
  12. キレイな人 (Find Love)

There's also music from other singers and games that will each get their own individual pages soon. For now, here are a few, in no particular order.

I've become attached to certain tracks and often can't function outside of my house without singing them, listening to them, or at the very least mentally listening to them. During 2018-2019, and also due to misophonia, I've had to make a specific case to my managers to allow me to wear my earbuds during work to keep my mental state in check. I've since learned to operate by listening to the music mentally, but this is the point we're at now.

There's times I have to avoid songs strictly because I want to maintain a neutral emotional state. As an example, DUET has narrative significance within the game it hails from. I have a difficult time passively listening to the song without being emotionally affected, due to various factors that aren't limited to the narrative, but real-life extrapolations stemming from it. The title theme OMORI has a more severe effect. I've recently had to physically remove myself from a room because I couldn't handle the narrative significance of inadvertently hearing a certain type of ringtone coming from another person's device. Why? You'll have to ask me about that in person.

It really doesn't make any sense. I recognise it as an issue if it's affecting my day-to-day functionality and emotions. I don't actually like this attachment I have to audio.

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