Difference between revisions of "April 17th, 2024"

From Halcove
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It's not a secret that Halcove was created expressly as a form of a "manual" backup of my memories, because there was a point where I valued my memories more than my own well-being.


There was a point where I valued my memories more than I valued my existence. Over time, these memories 


To quote a video game: it's like my story is already over. I just have to remember it.


Existing here wouldn't be so bad if there were any person in my life that had a singular redeeming trait. But statistically, almost everyone I deal with on a daily basis are opportunistic assholes. I give my heart, money, and wellbeing away for being treated like a stranger in return. I have loaned people a non-negligible amount of money while I, myself, was struggling - literally homeless. That was a year ago. I have not seen a cent of it back.
If you're alive and you're reading this, go fuck yourself.
 
I have nothing left in my heart but despair. And no matter how much you want to systemically place the blame on the person experiencing their despair, you're entirely responsible for it.
 
 
I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to be inherently grateful for.
 
The gift of losing memories?
 
The constant daily tension between an opportunistic roommate?
 
The joy of everyone you've been close to dying off?
 
A job with increasing demands coupled with diminishing pay, that was lower than the local grocery store to begin with?
 
Being forced to interact with a society of people who are programmed to be selfish and serviced, while having no actual market value on their own?


How do you think it feels to be constantly taken advantage of and used by almost every individual person that is in your life? How the graciousness you extend to others has never been considered or returned in any capacity?
How do you think it feels to be constantly taken advantage of and used by almost every individual person that is in your life? How the graciousness you extend to others has never been considered or returned in any capacity?


I can count on less than one hand how many times I have had a simple favour returned...
I can count on less than one hand how many times I have had a simple favour returned in the past two years.


Why do people still pretend to be aloof as to someone's certainty in their viewpoint that they hate humans and human interactions? Because it's not possible that they had a negative experience with every person they have interacted with, right?
Existing here wouldn't be so bad if there were any person in my life that had a singular redeeming trait. But statistically, almost everyone I deal with on a daily basis are opportunistic assholes. I give my heart, money, and wellbeing away for being treated like a stranger in return. I have loaned people a non-negligible amount of money while I, myself, was struggling - literally homeless. That was a year ago. I have not seen a cent of it back.


At this point, I gave you all of me until there was nothing left.


I gave you all of me until there was nothing left.
I have nothing left in my heart but despair. And no matter how much you want to systemically place the blame on the person experiencing their despair, you're entirely responsible for it.
 
If you're alive and you're reading this, go fuck yourself.


I have nothing left in my heart but despair. And no matter how you want to deny it, you're entirely responsible for it.
Why do people still pretend to be aloof as to someone's certainty in their viewpoint that they hate humans and human interactions? Why do you blame the sufferer for their suffering?

Revision as of 00:50, 20 April 2024


If you're alive and you're reading this, go fuck yourself.

I have nothing left in my heart but despair. And no matter how much you want to systemically place the blame on the person experiencing their despair, you're entirely responsible for it.


I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to be inherently grateful for.

The gift of losing memories?

The constant daily tension between an opportunistic roommate?

The joy of everyone you've been close to dying off?

A job with increasing demands coupled with diminishing pay, that was lower than the local grocery store to begin with?

Being forced to interact with a society of people who are programmed to be selfish and serviced, while having no actual market value on their own?

How do you think it feels to be constantly taken advantage of and used by almost every individual person that is in your life? How the graciousness you extend to others has never been considered or returned in any capacity?

I can count on less than one hand how many times I have had a simple favour returned in the past two years.

Existing here wouldn't be so bad if there were any person in my life that had a singular redeeming trait. But statistically, almost everyone I deal with on a daily basis are opportunistic assholes. I give my heart, money, and wellbeing away for being treated like a stranger in return. I have loaned people a non-negligible amount of money while I, myself, was struggling - literally homeless. That was a year ago. I have not seen a cent of it back.

At this point, I gave you all of me until there was nothing left.

I have nothing left in my heart but despair. And no matter how much you want to systemically place the blame on the person experiencing their despair, you're entirely responsible for it.

Why do people still pretend to be aloof as to someone's certainty in their viewpoint that they hate humans and human interactions? Why do you blame the sufferer for their suffering?

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